Nitta Jimmy kicks ass

If you haven't met Jimmy yet, then you haven't done a lot of things(The nitta
means kick-ass in Japanese). Add 'Meet Jimmy' to your to-do list. Full priority.
Forget painting a self-portrait or visiting the seven wonders of the world or
having a threesome with two German chicks. This is better. Well, maybe not the
threesome part, but you get it. He is one of the few people i know to be
included in the bible. Jim 3:21 goes as follows "And on the 5th day, God
created Jim. Then, with all the crap left over he created the rest of you
assholes on the 6th day". He stands a massive 12 ft. tall, with broad shoulders
and a perfectly chiseled body. His face can only be described as a pantheon of
design, a marriage of craftsmanship and architecture. His jet black hair is
slicked back and his goattee gives him the look of a man who is wise beyond his
years. His wisdom is accompanied by immense strength. Jimmy created Victoria Falls, The Grand Canyon, Mount Everest AND Marianas Trench when he was looking for the TV remote. They say if you shake hands with Jimmy, you can get a bit of his
knowledge or a bit of his looks. Don't believe me? Ask Leonardo Da Vinci, Isaac Newton and Albert
Einstein. Not to mention Cindy Crawford(unless you sniff glue you'll realize
she got the good lucks and not the wisdom). Thankfully, an Italian sculptor was
kind enough to make an immortalization of Jimmy, and some asshole named David
took credit for it.
You'll notice the willy is of moderate size. It's not
Jimmy's actual weiner. The sculptor told Jimmy that there were not enough rocks
in the world to accurately depict Jimmy's wang. As he said before he lost his
eyesight due to the enormous size of Jimmy's dong...Jimmy kicks ass